MENGAPA PASANGAN MENIKAH HARUS PUNYA KAMAR TIDUR TERPISAH

Setelah seseorang memasuki area yang disebut rumah tangga, kemerdekaan dan kebebasan akan terasa berkurang. Beberapa orang merasa berat dalam pernikahan mereka karena tanggung jawab mereka terhadap pasangan, anak-anak, karier, dll. Namun ada solusi,
yang membuat pasangan bersatu dan memberikan mereka rasa kebebasan yang mereka inginkan. Solusinya? Pisahkan kamar tidur! aneh yah...? Hmmm..lets see the reason


1. Argumen
cewek suka warna dan tekstur yang girly dan cowok pastinya beda. makanya setiap orang enaknya mempunyai kamar sendiri dan mereka dapat menghias itu seperti yang di dinginkan. Jika cewek ingin bunga yang pink sebagai penghibur, tidak ada masalah! trus cowok pengen poster metallica atau iron maiden ga masalah juga, masalahnya match ga yach kalo ada poster metal and ada bunga pink rose di sebelahnya?

2. Kurang tidur
Banyak orang yang memiliki pasangan mendengkur berat ketika tidur. nah ini bikin orang ga bisa tidur sepanjang malam dan dalam beberapa kasus, terkadang pasangan mau bangunin si pendengkur tiap beberapa menit sekali tapi Huhhh kasihan. Kalo beda kamar kan ga kedengeran tuh suara mendengkur bin ngorok yang extra bass atau giga bass... :-)

3. Ketika si bayi datang
ketika pasangan baru sudah memiliki momongan, pastinya jam terbang tidurnya bakal berkurang banyak dong coz harus banyak bangun malam demi si baby. Kalo beda kamar kan bisa diatur tuh schedule jagainnya jadi ketika si baby bangun tengah malem trus bapaknya nyanyi "welcome to the jungle" biar bobo lagi, sementara sang istri tetep bisa istirahat di tempat lain.

4. Setelah marah
ada yang bilang ga boleh pergi ke tempat tidur cuma buat marah sama pasangan. Namun, beberapa orang melakukannya dan biasanya pria. kalo udah gitu biasanya berahir dengan menghabiskan malam tidur di sofa. coba kalo punya kamar lain, kan ga kedinginan tuh tidur di luar...

5. luas kamar
biasanya cewek punya kecenderungan memiliki lebih banyak barang daripada cowok, kalo barang2 itu disimpen dikamar, sumpek deh tu kamar jadi museum sampe si cowok mau nyimpen sepatu aja ga bisa.

6. Sebelum waktu tidur abis
beberapa orang suka nonton tv sebelum tidur, ada juga yang seneng baca buku atau yang lainnya. nah kadang kebiasaanya ini berdeda dengan pasangan dan saling mengganggu satu sama lain, yang satu nonton tv yang satu baca. yang lagi baca marah2 tuh soalnya volume tv nya bikin ga konsen...

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ada ga yach yang nyesel setelah menikah..

nah loh apalagi nich udah nikah koq nyesel bukannya seneng. yah namanya juga manusia, tapi ada ga yah yang beneran kaya gitu. nyesel sesudah menikah, atau jangan-jangan nyeselnya karena "kenapa ga dari dulu yach meritnya"?? enough....saatnya serius!!! ok lests get started...kaya help software aja. nothing impossible in this world, so bukan ga mungkin dong kalo ada yang ngerasa nyesel setelah menikah. cuma yang pasti tiap orang punya reason masing-masing yang kadang mungkin ga bisa diterima oleh sebelah pihak. diluar apa alasannya and mengapa bisa demikian, mungkin ada hal lain yang lebih berpengaruh dalam hal ini. misalnya kurang memahami satu sama lain sebelum menikah, yach dimana-mana orang kalo beli barang biasanya juga dilhat-lihat dulu kalo cocok baru dibayar. lho..emang lagi ngobrolin apa sich..?

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Undangan dalam botol

Pesan dalam botol....dah biasa kali ya. Tapi kalo undangan dalam botol??? mungkin jarang denger atau ada yang belum pernah denger. Yups...sekarang ada undangan pernikahan yang isinya dimasukin kedalam botol trus botolnya di hias gitu. aneh atau menarik atau kurang kerjaan..? relatif sich...buat orang yang suka art mungkin ini sesuatu yang menarik. selain itu undangan dalam botol ada hubungannya ga yah ama daur ulang soalnya kan make botol bekas buat undangannya. nah loh...kalo kamu tertarik bikin undangan yang unik or aneh mungkin model undangan dalam botol bisa menjadi pilihan....

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Wedding : Behind the Traditions

For the Brides and Grooms of Omaha who have ever wondered why certain things are customary and tradition when it comes to Weddings and Receptions we are happy to help explain some of these traditions.

While Researching for this article OmahaBrides.com came across this information on the Ourmarriage.com website. We thank them for the use of this article.

Why Does the Bride Wear a Veil?
The bride's veil and bouquet are of greater antiquity than her white gown. Her veil, which was yellow in ancient Greece and red in ancient Rome, usually shrouded her from head to foot, and has since the earliest of times, denoted the subordination of a woman to man. The thicker the veil, the more traditional the implication of wearing it.
According to tradition, it is considered bad luck for the bride to be seen by the groom before the ceremony. As a matter of fact, in the old days of marriage by purchase, the couple rarely saw each other at all, with courtship being of more recent historical emergence.
The lifting of the veil at the end of the ceremony symbolizes male dominance. If the bride takes the initiative in lifting it, thereby presenting herself to him, she is showing more independence.
Veils came into vogue in the United States when Nelly Curtis wore a veil at her wedding to George Washington's aid, Major Lawrence Lewis. Major Lewis saw his bride to be standing behind a filmy curtain and commented to her how beautiful she appeared. She then decided to veil herself for their ceremony.

Why a Bride's Handkerchief?
Early farmers thought a bride's wedding day tears were lucky and brought rains for their crops. Later, a crying bride meant that she'd never shed another tear about her marriage. Today, we carry a handkerchief to dab away the tears of happiness and joy. How special to keep your wedding hanky and pass it down from mother to daughter capturing all the love and emotion of such a special event from one generation to another.

Why the Honeymoon?
In ancient times, many of the first marriages were by capture, not choice. When early man felt it was time to take a bride, he would often carry off an unwilling woman to a secret place where her relatives wouldn't find them. While the moon went through all its phases, (about 30 days) they hid from the searchers and drank a brew made from honey. Hence, we get the word, honeymoon.

Why Do the Attendants Dress Alike?
Who hasn't noticed that the maids, ushers, and entire bridal party dress very much like the bride and groom? It was once common for the bride, her groom and all their friends to walk together to the church on the morning of the wedding. Afraid that someone, maybe a rejected suitor, would spot the happy couple and put a curse on them. The groom's friends wore clothes almost identical to his, and the women costumed themselves like the bride. These disguises tricked evil wishers into letting the real bride and groom live happily ever after. Of course, today we dress our attendants alike for the beauty and pageantry of the event.
Why the Blue Satin Garter?

Why this "Something Blue?"
In ancient Israel, brides wore a blue ribbon to signify "fidelity." The garter-throwing itself derives from a bawdy ritual called "flinging the stocking." In Britain, the guests would playfully invade the bridal chamber. The ushers grabbed the bride's stockings; the maids; the grooms. They took turns sitting at the foot of the bed flinging the stockings over the heads of the couple. Whoever's stocking landed on the bride's or the groom's nose would be the next to wed.
Today, many brides will wear two garters. The one she wishes to keep as a memento of her wedding day, possibly to be displayed on her grooms rear view mirror, and another, to be retrieved and tossed by the groom to all the young unmarried men attending the event. The "toss garter" is likely to be in the color of the wedding, and not as elaborate as the more decorative garters kept by the bride.

Why a Matchmaker?
For centuries, the matchmaker enjoyed the honored, if occasionally ridiculed, position of ensuring ethnic identity and compatibility. Groups that wanted this assurance regularly employed the services of a matchmaker, whose commission was a certain percentage of the dowries. Today, the modern version of the matchmaker is found as easily as turning on your computer. Computer programs can allegedly match individual backgrounds and traits so accurately that two people brought together for a date can be assured of "common interests" at the very least. In any event, it is only the dating that can be arranged, not marriage. So matchmaking of a sort has not disappeared; it has merely changed its appearance and emphasis, as is the case with any custom that expresses enduring human needs.

Why a Trousseau?
The word trousseau came from the French word, trousse, which meant bundle. The trousseau originated as a bundle of clothing and personal possessions the bride carried with her to her new home. This was later expanded upon into a generous dowry. Today, the trousseau includes all of the new items for the household, as well as for the bride herself.

Why Does the Bride Wear White??
The color white has been a symbol of joyous celebration since early Roman times. At the beginning to the twentieth century, white stood for purity as well. Today, it holds it original meaning of happiness and joy.

Why Does the Bride Carry Flowers?
For centuries, flowers have stood for a variety of emotions and values. Roses for love, lilies for virtue and so on. In ancient marriages, the brides carried herbs beneath their veils to symbolize fidelity. Greek brides carried ivy as a symbol of never-ending love. Orange blossoms, (the world renowned wedding flower) were chosen by the Spaniards to represent happiness and fulfillment, because the orange tree flowers and bears fruit at the same time. During even earlier times of "primitive marriage," when the fear of demons was most prevalent, the brides carried stinking garlands of herbs and spices for the purpose of frightening off evil spirits.
Today, brides carry flowers in the color scheme of their wedding, bringing beauty and elegance as well as old world customs to their special day. Have you considered spelling out the name of your groom in the flowers of your bouquets?

Why Something Blue?
Brides of ancient Israel wore blue ribbons on the border of their wedding cloths to denote, love, modesty and fidelity. These are ideals still associated today with that color. Blue also denotes the purity of the Virgin Mary and is the most popular of all colors.

Why a Wedding Cake?
Beginning in early Roman times, the cake has been a special part of the wedding celebration. A thin loaf was broken over the bride's head at the close of the ceremony to symbolize fertility. The wheat from which it was made, symbolized fertility and the guests eagerly picked up the crumbs as good luck charms. During the Middle Ages, it became traditional for the couple to kiss over a small cluster of cakes. Later, a clever baker decided to amass all these small cakes together, covering them with frosting. Thus, the modern tiered cake was born.

The Groom's Cake
The groom's cake is a smaller cake that is served at the wedding reception.
Young women (unmarried) would take a piece of the groom's cake home to place under their pillows and the old wife?s tale says "they will marry whomever they dream of that night."

The Tradition of the Bridal Shower?
Tradition says that the first bridal shower was given to a poor couple in Holland who was denied the bridal dowry because of the groom's lowly miller status. The miller's friends showered the bride with gifts to help them set up housekeeping.

Why Carry the Bride Across the Threshold?
During the days of "Marriage by Capture," the bride was certainly not going to go peacefully into the bridegroom's abode; thus, she was dragged or carried across the threshold. In even earlier times, it was believed that family demons followed the woman and to keep her family demons from going into the groom's home, she was carried across the threshold upon her entering for the first time. After that, the demons could not enter, as she would come in and go out of the home.


Why Old Shoes and Rice?
The throwing of rice on the couple has always been symbolic of wishing prosperity and good luck. In the Orient, throwing rice means, "May you always have a full pantry." Wheat and other grains are sometimes thrown in addition to rice, thereby also wishing prosperity and lack of want. Each shower bestows "Goodwill Traditions" of wealth upon the newlyweds. To this day, rice remains a token of a life of "plenty."


Giving the Bride Away?
In times when women were granted few privileges and even fewer personal rights, the bride was literally given away to the groom by the father, usually in exchange for monetary gain. Today, it is seen as symbolic of the blessings and support of her union as a promise of continued trust and affection. Often when the question is asked by a clergy during the ceremony, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man," the father's response is, "Her mother and I."

Why an Engagement Ring?
In the early days of "Marriage by Purchase," the betrothal ring served a twofold purpose. This twofold purpose included partial payment for the bride and was a symbol of the groom's honorable intentions. The diamond was found first in Medieval Italy, and because of its hardness, was chosen to stand for enduring love.

Why the Third Finger, Left-hand?
In ancient times, it was believed there was a vein in the third finger of the left hand that ran directly to the heart. Thus, the ring being placed on that finger, denoted the strong connection of a heartfelt love and commitment to one another. Although during times of modern autopsy, this long held belief was found not to be so, the tradition continued to this day.
Medieval bridegrooms place the ring on three of the bride's fingers, in turn, to symbolize, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. The ring then remained on the third finger and has become the customary ring finger for English-speaking cultures. In some European countries, the ring is worn on the left hand before marriage, and is moved to the right hand during the ceremony. However, in most European countries the ring is still worn on the brides left hand. A Greek Orthodox bride wears her ring on her left had before marriage, and moves it to her right hand after the ceremony.

Why a Wedding Ring?
The circular shape of the wedding ring has symbolized undying, unending love since the days of the early Egyptians. A primitive bride wore a ring of hemp or rushes, which had to be replaced often. Durable iron was used by the Romans to symbolize the permanence of marriage. Today's favorite is of course, gold, with its lasting qualities of beauty and purity.

Source : http://www.omahaweddingarticles.com

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Mau nikah? dah siap belum....???

Pernikahan yang berkesan merupakan dambaan bagi setiap pasangan yang hendak memasuki bahtera rumah tangga. Peristiwa ini merupakan momen yang sakral dimana anggota keluarga, teman dan kerabat biasanya datang untuk memberikan doa restu dan ucapan selamat kepada kedua mempelai yang sedang berbahagia.

Karenanya suasana pesta yang meriah dan elegan akan menimbulkan kesan yang mendalam bagi semua orang yang hadir pada saat itu. Ada beberapa hal yang perlu diperhatikan oleh pasangan yang hendak melangsungkan acara pernikahannya, yaitu:

· Menentukan waktu yang tepat untuk melangsungkan acara pernikahan
Biasanya hal ini dirembukkan dengan pihak keluarga dari kedua mempelai. Pilihlah waktu dimana para anggota keluarga dan kerabat dapat hadir pada acara tersebut, misalnya: pada akhir pekan, saat liburan sekolah atau pada saat-saat dimana rutinitas bisnis anda diperkirakan tidak terlalu sibuk. Antisipasi pula adanya kondisi atau peristiwa tertentu, seperti: kondisi cuaca, agenda peristiwa nasional/lokal dan hari raya keagamaan, yang mungkin menjadi penyebab orang-orang yang anda undang tidak bisa menghadiri acara anda.

· Mempersiapkan dana untuk acara pernikahan
Pendanaan untuk suatu acara resepsi sangat relatif tergantung kondisi keuangan anda. Selain itu acara pernikahan bukan hanya kepentingan anda dan pasangan anda tetapi juga keluarga dari kedua belah pihak. Oleh karena itu, orang tua atau keluarga dekat terkadang turut memberikan bantuan dana demi suksesnya acara tersebut. Mengingat dana yang dibutuhkan relatif besar, anda harus melakukan kalkulasi budget yang tepat, seperti: berapa dana yang dibutuhkan untuk pernikahan anda dan berapa dana yang anda miliki saat ini. Jika dana saat ini masih kurang mencukupi lalu dihitung kembali berapa aliran dana yang kemungkinan akan masuk sampai menjelang hari pernikahan anda. Kalkulasi yang tepat akan mendukung kesuksesan dalam mewujudkan pernikahan yang menjadi idaman anda.

· Mempersiapkan acara dan perlengkapan pernikahan

Setelah tahapan perencanaan waktu dan keuangan di atas barulah anda melangkah pada tahap persiapan acara dan perlengkapannya. Tahapan ini merupakan yang paling sulit dan banyak memakan waktu dan pikiran anda. Proses ini dimulai dari pembuatan konsep acara, pemilihan lokasi dan menghubungi para vendor yang terkait dalam acara pernikahan, seperti: katering, dekorasi pelaminan, studio foto, undangan, dsb. Jika anda kesulitan mintalah bantuan Wedding Organizer untuk mengurus semua hal di atas. Untuk objektivitas, disarankan untuk memilih Wedding Organizer yang bersifat netral dan bekerja untuk anda serta bukan perpanjangan tangan (tenaga marketing) dari vendor-vendor perlengkapan pernikahan.

Source: http://www.revy-weddingorganizer.blogspot.com/

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Pre wedding photography in Bali

Wedding / pre wedding photography in Bali is not a new thing, because Bali is famous place for the beauty and culture of bait .. so that to make a pre wedding photos and get married in Bali is now a must for the bride and groom and I want to help you realize the dream through the camera lens. Ujung Karangasem Soekasada secure a better known by the name of Ujung Park, located in the Village Tumbu, Karangasem District, about 85 km from the Ngurah Rai Airport or 5 km from Amlapura. Of the time from Denpasar, about 1 hour 45 minutes. The end of the park complex is a combination of Balinese architecture and Europe. View is offered by three large ponds which are connected with two long bridges. Cost of entry ticket to the pre wedding shooting around Rp. 150000. To obtain maximum results, you should come in the morning, at least 8 am to have been in the location .. because of the beautiful sunrise enchantment will accompany the process of shooting prewedding you.

There are at least 5 point best location for the photos. Spot the most frequently used is building Bale ship. The building is a Pila-pillars decorated by a carved-carving antique. And if the weather are enough .. shooting process usually took 2 - 3 hours.

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Pertimbangan sebelum menikah

Syarat sebelum menikah.

1. Harus sudah kenal dgn pasangan anda.

Masuk akal nggak neh? Nggak mungkin kan menikah dengan orang yang kita belum kenal. Minimal tau nama deh,.. Datuk maringgih dan siti nurbaya yang di jodohin aja udah saling kenal. Tapi kenal ini memang bisa jadi bumerang jg. Buktinya karena kenal, siti nurbaya menolak untuk nikah dengan Datuk maringgih. Syarat ini HARUS dimiliki sebelum menikah. Kalo udah kenal lama terhadap pasangan dan keluarga pasangan, itu lebih bagus lagi. Proses menuju pernikahan akan lebih lancar,..
2. Sudah pernah ngobrolin tentang pernikahan dengan pasangan dan Berani untuk bertanya ato menjawab pertanyaannya.

Nggak lucu kan kalo tiba2 lo pulang ke rumah langsung di suruh duduk di pelaminan. Minimal hubungan yang sedang/akan lo jalin dengan pasangan lo sudah mempunyai arah. Komunikasi adalah kuncinya. Siapa tau yang pengen nikah itu cuma lo doang hahahaha,..
Jd komunikasikan terlebih dahulu setelah anda kenal dengan pasangan anda,..
Awal dari obrolan itu kira2 seperti ini,
sayang, kapan kita mo nikah? ato sayang kamu mo nikah ama aku nggak? ato Nak, kapan kamu mau nikah? dan yang perlu di waspadai adalah heh! kapan lo mo nikahin anak gue??!!?
Sebelum ada percakapan ke arah itu, pasti awalnya dari sebuah pertanyaan. Dari anda ato dari pihak pasangan. Kumpulin semua keberanian untuk menjawab ato bertanya ke pasangan anda.
3. Mempunyai rasa sayang terhadap pasangan anda, dan mengerti tentang dia.

Nikah dengan orang yang tidak kita sayangi tu pasti sucks. Untuk nikah, WAJIB mempunyai rasa sayang. Dan ngertikanlah pasangan anda. Karena memang tidak ada orang yang sempurna di dunia ini. Dengan rasa sayang, mungkin pengertian itu jadi lebih masuk akal. Tapi kata om gue yah, nikah aja dulu. Ntar rasa sayang itu nyusul. Masa seh? emang ada gitu? kalo memang ada seperti itu, ya skip aja point ini dan lanjut ke point berikutnya.
4. Mempunyai income pribadi untuk hidup dan duit untuk nikah.

Kalo nikahnya biaya pribadi, biasanya rasa memiliki hubungan itu menjadi semakin tinggi. Dari pada dibayarin bonyok lu nikah. Rasa memilikinya menjadi kurang. Bukan berarti kalo nikah dibayarin itu jadi tidak harmonis yah. I mean come on,.. duit sendiri rasanya lebih afdol getoh,..
Nah ada teman gue yang udah nikahnya di bayarin bonyok, trus biaya kehidupan bulanannya juga di bayarin bonyoknya. Jangan ampe gitu deh. Tunjukkan kalo kita si pasangan yang sudah nikah itu mampu untuk berdiri sendiri. Umumnya kalo udah nikah tu yah, rezeki jadi lebih lancar. Terbukti dengan beberapa teman di lingkungan gue. Tapi ada juga yang tidak mau menikah karena belum mapan. Aih,.. kalo nunggu mapan mah ntar ce/co lu di ambil orang!!! Masih mending orang nggak jadi/mau nikah karena nggak ada duit. Karena kalo nggak ada duit itu masih ada solusinya. Tapi kalo belum mapan? ck ck ck ck,.. ampe kiamat jg manusia nggak bakal mapan2 kaleee,… come on,..
Mulailah untuk menabung. Siapa tau kalo nggak jadi nikah, tabungannya kan bisa buat naek haji getoh,..
5. Menikah dengan niat yang baik dan Komitment yang mantabz

Sebelum menikah kita juga perlu niat, tujuan dan komitment. Karena kalo nikah dengan niat yang jelek, bisa2 ntar rumah tangganya jadi berantakan. Nggak mungkin kan kita nikah karena mo mamerin pasangan ke temen2 kantor ato temen2 nongkrong. Ato tujuan nikahnya nggak begitu jelas juga bisa membuat hubungan rumah tangga jadi jelek. Kenapa? karena waktu antar pasangan sedang berantem, biasanya kata2 ini keluar “gue nikahin lo karena gue kasihan ama lo tau nggak!!!”. Yeah,.. alasan di awal itu akan keluar dengan sendirinya. Sangat menyakitkan pasangan anda apabila dia tau anda tidak nikah dengan tujuan yang jelas. Nah dengan ber komitmen, kita bisa menerima pasangan dengan apa adanya. Apabila dia sudah tidak cantik lagi, dengan berpegang terhadap komitment kita masih bisa tetap untuk mau melihatnya. Apabila mempunyai keturunan yang cacat, dengan komitment, kita masih bisa menerima cobaan tersebut dengan lapang dada,.. Alasan untuk menikah itu di awal aja, setelah menikah ya berkomitmen lah yawww,..

Source : http://bayu.or.id/2006/10/27/beberapa-syarat-dan-cobaan-sebelum-menikah/

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Pertengkaran sebagai bumbunya rumah tangga

Pertengkaran dalam rumah tangga...ada yang bilang itu hal wajar and ada juga yang bilang itu bumbunya dalam rumah tangga. emang sich kayanya satu hal yang impossible kalo dalam rumah tangga ga ada pertengkaran. And bisa dibilang bohong kali kalo orang udah berunah tangga bilang dia ga pernah ada conflict. diluar konteks pernah atau tidak pernah ada pertengkaran atau konflik rumah tangga, sebenarnya apa sih hal yang menyebabkan sebuah conflict itu muncul? pastinya setiap orang punya jawaban yang berbeda-beda, tergantung dari individu itu sendiri. mungkin ada yang hanya karena hal-hal sepele saja atau mungkin ada juga yang karena permasalahan serius....

yang sebenarnya sangat disayangkan adalah apabila pertengkaran yang muncul hanya karena hal yang sepele sampai berimbas kepada hal yang sangat di hindari dalam rumah tangga yaitu perceraian. mungkin inti dari munculnya sebuah konflict itu sangat sederhana, misal karena kurangnya rasa saling memahami diantara pasangan itu sendiri atau keukeuh sumeukeuh dengan pendirian masing masing sehingga tidak ada yang mau mengalah. But whatever the reason sebisa mungkin conflict itu harus dihindari mungkin dengan cara harus coba untuk saling memahami karakter masing masing and jangan terlalu mementingkan ego sendiri, ya iyalah secara kalo orang dah merit kan udah ga cuma mikirin diri sendiri aja.

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PACARAN DULU APA LANGSUNG NIKAH YA?

Suatu hal yang sering sekali menjadi bahan perbincangan di kalangan masyarakat kita dan khususnya kaum adam-hawa mengenai hari depan dan berkaitan dengan pernikahan,walaupun mereka mempunyai pendapat yang berbeda,tapi kebanyakan di antara sering bingung dan bahkan mati kata kalau di tanya siap ga untuk menikah...?Apalagi kalau yang tanya......kedua orang tua...?Wah.....pokoknya bingung campur keringat dingin deh apa lagi kalau belum ada persiapan.Dan untuk mengantisipasi hal tersebut kebanyakan kaum muda mudi memilih untuk pacaran dulu sebelum nanti akhirnya menikah?dengan alasan yang berbeda pula,ada yang mengatakan lebih baik pacaran dulu biar bisa mengetahui sifat satu sama lain,ada juga yang bilang ingin menghabiskan masa muda dulu sebelum akhirnya menikah,bahkan ada pula yang mengatakan enak pacaran dulu dengan alasan belum ada persiapan ya.... boleh di bilang belum ada uang,karena di zaman sekarang kan apa-apa harus pakai uang.Ini sebagian pendapat bagi mereka yang menginginkan pacaran dulu sebelum menikah.Eeht......zzz tapi tunggu dulu...?jangan bengong apa lagi heran,karena ada juga yang mengingikan pacarannya kalau dah nikah aja?HAH.......Maksud lhoooo?...ya maksud gue pada intinya BANYAK GODAAN SETAN gitu?tau sendiri lah orang pecaran kan maunya yang aneh-aneh,tapi kalau sudah nikah....?mau aneh-aneh kek,mau tangan ga bisa diem kek,terserah kita,kan sudah syah jadi milik kita.Untuk itu sebelum pacaran atau menikah alangkah baiknya kita pikirkan dulu.THANK's

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How do guys decide to get married?

For most guys the thought of getting is probably frightening. Of course with the tales that you hear about marriages and married people the matter probably worsens. The reasons for the fear could be different for each person. For people who are not into affairs it would probably be like don't know how I am going to spend the rest of my life with the girl I have barely known. Well for those who have found their own partners too it may not be very different, as they say how much of each other do we get to know each other before we actually start living with each other. Even if you spend hours on the phone everyday, hours on the weekend, you know that somewhere you have always been showing your good side to your mate. Maybe we have seen only the tip of icebergs in each other all the time, never tried to fathom deeper, often sub-consciously and quite often than not consciously too!

So getting back to the topic, whatever be the fear men do really fear the altar, maybe women too. So what is it that drives men to marriages despite so many fears? Well there are social pressures to start with. But its not that people start questioning your masculinity or your willingness to mate with a female of your species really drives you to getting married these days! There are a lot of other ways to make your point on these matters these days. But maybe the call comes from within. As clichéd as it may sound, but "Man is a social animal" and "Man has needs". Most of his life a man satisfies these needs through the family and friends that he has.

But then comes a phase in life. Suddenly you seem to have all the time in the world but the world does not have time for you. You grow to a marriageable age and find all your batch mates making a beeline to matrimony! You call up friends to find out that they are getting engaged some of them already married. Then someday you call a long lost friend to find out that he is now a proud "PAPPA"! Suddenly you start feeling alone. The friends you used to hang-out are now "family men". They don't come for night-outs with "bachelors" anymore! Although none of them will admit that, they will always find work on the weekends! Hmm...now you start thinking...is it the time for you to get coupled?...Anyways you are getting bored in life...nothing much to do...friends are busy...nothing much happening in life...why not get married?!!

Well then comes a stream of brain-waves supporting and opposing your idea. "See you are growing older, balder, fatter. What if you don't get a girl when you finally decide to get married. On the other hand, I am not happy with my job, I may quit and try would like to take up some other profession, maybe I would want to study further. I don't have a house of my own yet. I don't have enough savings!...But then all good looking girls get married early...all that you get later may be left-overs! Also wouldn't you be marrying a girl who earns too! and for years you have been struggling with getting an admit for the course you have always wanted to do. Maybe you will
never make it! Are you going to wait till you go totally bald!?!" Finally he probably says if it has to happen let it happen now! And ladies and gentlemen we finally have a man who has overcome his fears of wedlock (literally), ready to face far-reaching consequences.

Well the point I would like to highlight here is that whatever may be the reason a man gives for getting married. Somewhere the origin lies in dissatisfaction of his social needs. If he can get those satisfied for a longer time in his life the thoughts of getting married may never cross his mind. Have i just re-propounded Maslow's theory?

Some parting notes. These are not exactly my experiences but derived from first-hand accounts of "guy talks" that happen at those rare guys night-out we have these days.(after a few shots of course!) My case still rests in peace! And last but not the least, I too fear marriage but I am not against it and nor do I think that it is uncool to get married early. It all depends upon when does that phase come in your life.

Source : wishpi.sulekha.com

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