Pertimbangan sebelum menikah

Syarat sebelum menikah.

1. Harus sudah kenal dgn pasangan anda.

Masuk akal nggak neh? Nggak mungkin kan menikah dengan orang yang kita belum kenal. Minimal tau nama deh,.. Datuk maringgih dan siti nurbaya yang di jodohin aja udah saling kenal. Tapi kenal ini memang bisa jadi bumerang jg. Buktinya karena kenal, siti nurbaya menolak untuk nikah dengan Datuk maringgih. Syarat ini HARUS dimiliki sebelum menikah. Kalo udah kenal lama terhadap pasangan dan keluarga pasangan, itu lebih bagus lagi. Proses menuju pernikahan akan lebih lancar,..
2. Sudah pernah ngobrolin tentang pernikahan dengan pasangan dan Berani untuk bertanya ato menjawab pertanyaannya.

Nggak lucu kan kalo tiba2 lo pulang ke rumah langsung di suruh duduk di pelaminan. Minimal hubungan yang sedang/akan lo jalin dengan pasangan lo sudah mempunyai arah. Komunikasi adalah kuncinya. Siapa tau yang pengen nikah itu cuma lo doang hahahaha,..
Jd komunikasikan terlebih dahulu setelah anda kenal dengan pasangan anda,..
Awal dari obrolan itu kira2 seperti ini,
sayang, kapan kita mo nikah? ato sayang kamu mo nikah ama aku nggak? ato Nak, kapan kamu mau nikah? dan yang perlu di waspadai adalah heh! kapan lo mo nikahin anak gue??!!?
Sebelum ada percakapan ke arah itu, pasti awalnya dari sebuah pertanyaan. Dari anda ato dari pihak pasangan. Kumpulin semua keberanian untuk menjawab ato bertanya ke pasangan anda.
3. Mempunyai rasa sayang terhadap pasangan anda, dan mengerti tentang dia.

Nikah dengan orang yang tidak kita sayangi tu pasti sucks. Untuk nikah, WAJIB mempunyai rasa sayang. Dan ngertikanlah pasangan anda. Karena memang tidak ada orang yang sempurna di dunia ini. Dengan rasa sayang, mungkin pengertian itu jadi lebih masuk akal. Tapi kata om gue yah, nikah aja dulu. Ntar rasa sayang itu nyusul. Masa seh? emang ada gitu? kalo memang ada seperti itu, ya skip aja point ini dan lanjut ke point berikutnya.
4. Mempunyai income pribadi untuk hidup dan duit untuk nikah.

Kalo nikahnya biaya pribadi, biasanya rasa memiliki hubungan itu menjadi semakin tinggi. Dari pada dibayarin bonyok lu nikah. Rasa memilikinya menjadi kurang. Bukan berarti kalo nikah dibayarin itu jadi tidak harmonis yah. I mean come on,.. duit sendiri rasanya lebih afdol getoh,..
Nah ada teman gue yang udah nikahnya di bayarin bonyok, trus biaya kehidupan bulanannya juga di bayarin bonyoknya. Jangan ampe gitu deh. Tunjukkan kalo kita si pasangan yang sudah nikah itu mampu untuk berdiri sendiri. Umumnya kalo udah nikah tu yah, rezeki jadi lebih lancar. Terbukti dengan beberapa teman di lingkungan gue. Tapi ada juga yang tidak mau menikah karena belum mapan. Aih,.. kalo nunggu mapan mah ntar ce/co lu di ambil orang!!! Masih mending orang nggak jadi/mau nikah karena nggak ada duit. Karena kalo nggak ada duit itu masih ada solusinya. Tapi kalo belum mapan? ck ck ck ck,.. ampe kiamat jg manusia nggak bakal mapan2 kaleee,… come on,..
Mulailah untuk menabung. Siapa tau kalo nggak jadi nikah, tabungannya kan bisa buat naek haji getoh,..
5. Menikah dengan niat yang baik dan Komitment yang mantabz

Sebelum menikah kita juga perlu niat, tujuan dan komitment. Karena kalo nikah dengan niat yang jelek, bisa2 ntar rumah tangganya jadi berantakan. Nggak mungkin kan kita nikah karena mo mamerin pasangan ke temen2 kantor ato temen2 nongkrong. Ato tujuan nikahnya nggak begitu jelas juga bisa membuat hubungan rumah tangga jadi jelek. Kenapa? karena waktu antar pasangan sedang berantem, biasanya kata2 ini keluar “gue nikahin lo karena gue kasihan ama lo tau nggak!!!”. Yeah,.. alasan di awal itu akan keluar dengan sendirinya. Sangat menyakitkan pasangan anda apabila dia tau anda tidak nikah dengan tujuan yang jelas. Nah dengan ber komitmen, kita bisa menerima pasangan dengan apa adanya. Apabila dia sudah tidak cantik lagi, dengan berpegang terhadap komitment kita masih bisa tetap untuk mau melihatnya. Apabila mempunyai keturunan yang cacat, dengan komitment, kita masih bisa menerima cobaan tersebut dengan lapang dada,.. Alasan untuk menikah itu di awal aja, setelah menikah ya berkomitmen lah yawww,..

Source : http://bayu.or.id/2006/10/27/beberapa-syarat-dan-cobaan-sebelum-menikah/

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Pertengkaran sebagai bumbunya rumah tangga

Pertengkaran dalam rumah tangga...ada yang bilang itu hal wajar and ada juga yang bilang itu bumbunya dalam rumah tangga. emang sich kayanya satu hal yang impossible kalo dalam rumah tangga ga ada pertengkaran. And bisa dibilang bohong kali kalo orang udah berunah tangga bilang dia ga pernah ada conflict. diluar konteks pernah atau tidak pernah ada pertengkaran atau konflik rumah tangga, sebenarnya apa sih hal yang menyebabkan sebuah conflict itu muncul? pastinya setiap orang punya jawaban yang berbeda-beda, tergantung dari individu itu sendiri. mungkin ada yang hanya karena hal-hal sepele saja atau mungkin ada juga yang karena permasalahan serius....

yang sebenarnya sangat disayangkan adalah apabila pertengkaran yang muncul hanya karena hal yang sepele sampai berimbas kepada hal yang sangat di hindari dalam rumah tangga yaitu perceraian. mungkin inti dari munculnya sebuah konflict itu sangat sederhana, misal karena kurangnya rasa saling memahami diantara pasangan itu sendiri atau keukeuh sumeukeuh dengan pendirian masing masing sehingga tidak ada yang mau mengalah. But whatever the reason sebisa mungkin conflict itu harus dihindari mungkin dengan cara harus coba untuk saling memahami karakter masing masing and jangan terlalu mementingkan ego sendiri, ya iyalah secara kalo orang dah merit kan udah ga cuma mikirin diri sendiri aja.

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PACARAN DULU APA LANGSUNG NIKAH YA?

Suatu hal yang sering sekali menjadi bahan perbincangan di kalangan masyarakat kita dan khususnya kaum adam-hawa mengenai hari depan dan berkaitan dengan pernikahan,walaupun mereka mempunyai pendapat yang berbeda,tapi kebanyakan di antara sering bingung dan bahkan mati kata kalau di tanya siap ga untuk menikah...?Apalagi kalau yang tanya......kedua orang tua...?Wah.....pokoknya bingung campur keringat dingin deh apa lagi kalau belum ada persiapan.Dan untuk mengantisipasi hal tersebut kebanyakan kaum muda mudi memilih untuk pacaran dulu sebelum nanti akhirnya menikah?dengan alasan yang berbeda pula,ada yang mengatakan lebih baik pacaran dulu biar bisa mengetahui sifat satu sama lain,ada juga yang bilang ingin menghabiskan masa muda dulu sebelum akhirnya menikah,bahkan ada pula yang mengatakan enak pacaran dulu dengan alasan belum ada persiapan ya.... boleh di bilang belum ada uang,karena di zaman sekarang kan apa-apa harus pakai uang.Ini sebagian pendapat bagi mereka yang menginginkan pacaran dulu sebelum menikah.Eeht......zzz tapi tunggu dulu...?jangan bengong apa lagi heran,karena ada juga yang mengingikan pacarannya kalau dah nikah aja?HAH.......Maksud lhoooo?...ya maksud gue pada intinya BANYAK GODAAN SETAN gitu?tau sendiri lah orang pecaran kan maunya yang aneh-aneh,tapi kalau sudah nikah....?mau aneh-aneh kek,mau tangan ga bisa diem kek,terserah kita,kan sudah syah jadi milik kita.Untuk itu sebelum pacaran atau menikah alangkah baiknya kita pikirkan dulu.THANK's

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How do guys decide to get married?

For most guys the thought of getting is probably frightening. Of course with the tales that you hear about marriages and married people the matter probably worsens. The reasons for the fear could be different for each person. For people who are not into affairs it would probably be like don't know how I am going to spend the rest of my life with the girl I have barely known. Well for those who have found their own partners too it may not be very different, as they say how much of each other do we get to know each other before we actually start living with each other. Even if you spend hours on the phone everyday, hours on the weekend, you know that somewhere you have always been showing your good side to your mate. Maybe we have seen only the tip of icebergs in each other all the time, never tried to fathom deeper, often sub-consciously and quite often than not consciously too!

So getting back to the topic, whatever be the fear men do really fear the altar, maybe women too. So what is it that drives men to marriages despite so many fears? Well there are social pressures to start with. But its not that people start questioning your masculinity or your willingness to mate with a female of your species really drives you to getting married these days! There are a lot of other ways to make your point on these matters these days. But maybe the call comes from within. As clichéd as it may sound, but "Man is a social animal" and "Man has needs". Most of his life a man satisfies these needs through the family and friends that he has.

But then comes a phase in life. Suddenly you seem to have all the time in the world but the world does not have time for you. You grow to a marriageable age and find all your batch mates making a beeline to matrimony! You call up friends to find out that they are getting engaged some of them already married. Then someday you call a long lost friend to find out that he is now a proud "PAPPA"! Suddenly you start feeling alone. The friends you used to hang-out are now "family men". They don't come for night-outs with "bachelors" anymore! Although none of them will admit that, they will always find work on the weekends! Hmm...now you start thinking...is it the time for you to get coupled?...Anyways you are getting bored in life...nothing much to do...friends are busy...nothing much happening in life...why not get married?!!

Well then comes a stream of brain-waves supporting and opposing your idea. "See you are growing older, balder, fatter. What if you don't get a girl when you finally decide to get married. On the other hand, I am not happy with my job, I may quit and try would like to take up some other profession, maybe I would want to study further. I don't have a house of my own yet. I don't have enough savings!...But then all good looking girls get married early...all that you get later may be left-overs! Also wouldn't you be marrying a girl who earns too! and for years you have been struggling with getting an admit for the course you have always wanted to do. Maybe you will
never make it! Are you going to wait till you go totally bald!?!" Finally he probably says if it has to happen let it happen now! And ladies and gentlemen we finally have a man who has overcome his fears of wedlock (literally), ready to face far-reaching consequences.

Well the point I would like to highlight here is that whatever may be the reason a man gives for getting married. Somewhere the origin lies in dissatisfaction of his social needs. If he can get those satisfied for a longer time in his life the thoughts of getting married may never cross his mind. Have i just re-propounded Maslow's theory?

Some parting notes. These are not exactly my experiences but derived from first-hand accounts of "guy talks" that happen at those rare guys night-out we have these days.(after a few shots of course!) My case still rests in peace! And last but not the least, I too fear marriage but I am not against it and nor do I think that it is uncool to get married early. It all depends upon when does that phase come in your life.

Source : wishpi.sulekha.com

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Wedding invitation and stationary trends 2009

In previous years the wedding invitation was overlooked and kept to a minimum when it came to the wedding as a whole. Let’s be honest and I’m sure you have heard it before “It’s the first indication that your guests receive to what the wedding will entail” so you want that to be reflected in your wedding invitation to set the tone for your special day. Today’s Brides want something unique and are keeping up to date with local and international trends taking the wedding selections by storm, but also not forgetting to add that South African flavor. The invitation which I’m proud to say is now a fashion accessory and fast becoming top of the wedding planning list to which it should be. It’s saying “This is who we are” and 2008 had definitely achieved that. Things can only get better seeing a lot of the designs, styles and themes overflowing into 2009 taking on a new twist. Here are some trends that I believe we will see in 2009 making your unique wedding invitation one to remember for years to come.



Vintage Candy:

As I’m sure most of you are familiar with the vintage prints that the end of 2007 and 2008 introduced. Damask, baroque patterns were all the rage and believe will still carry on, with bolder colour combinations, adding modern elements and alternative letter styles that will bring in a new concept on the old design. Wedding invitations will now see these antique style patterns take on a whole new meaning.



Colour Me Shades:

Every bride is unique in their own way and most probably already have a colour in mind whether the trend or not. My suggestion is “Go for it!” it’s your personal choice at the end of the day. 2009 wedding invitations will use an array of different colour palettes. The trend I’m noticing is brides sticking to a single colour scheme but experimenting and mixing its different shades. This choice not only broadens your options but takes the difficulty out of trying to make everything match. It’s also chic, stylish, fun and different.

Monogram Us:

The classic interlinked initials seen on the majority of wedding cards will now be replaced with ornate framed monograms customised according to your requirements. The monogram in itself is design and can be carried through all your wedding stationery for your special day. Basically like the old coat of arms these modern day gems can incorporate personal elements and most importantly make your wedding stationery one of a kind.

Citrus Splash:

Two colours that have been popular towards the end of 2008 and already getting a lot of interest for 2009 are orange and yellow. Orange, which is no newcomer and has been around for some time, but is having a facelift with new tones, that are really exciting and being blended with colours unheard of in the past. Think neon orange, tangerine fizz, tangy orange and then consider the complete colour palette. It goes well with choc brown, baby blues and mint green or pure white and gives your wedding invite that extra pop. Now yellow on the other hand was a colour rarely seen and to be honest difficult to play with, but with the new patterned prints and unique wedding invitation shapes that are available it’s making its mark. Think canary yellow, lemongrass, buttercup, lemon zest and I’m sure you can most probably taste the possibilities. These two colours are not only fresh but reflect the seasons that lay ahead.



It’s In The shape:

Wedding invitations come in all shapes and sizes and the one that 2008 labeled as most popular and will once again carry over into next year is the pocket fold invitation. A unique invitation which says style and elegance and incorporates your additional info cards like directions, rsvp, accommodation details or an added before or after celebration and then neatly folds up into a standard size invite keeping everything in place. 2009 will also see a more economic trend playing its roll, its got to in this day and age but at the same time one doesn’t want to skimp on the quality. Dual sided cards are the way to go and the front panel being the canvas to reflect your desired colour and design with the reverse panel being the actual invite.



Envelope Me:

Last but not least, the envelope. Gone are the bland white envelopes we have seen for so many years and we now say hello to a matching affair. Not only do envelopes come in variety of colours and sizes to compliment your wedding invitations but 2009 will see them given a much needed face lift with matching outer and inner prints. Another popular trend is having the envelopes personally addressed in the invitation font and a crest or monogram on the back leaf.



To end, I hope this has brought some light onto what 2009 will bring and wish you all the best for the festive season. Part 2 of Wedding Invitation Trends will be out in the New Year. Happy planning!!!!

Source : http://wedding.blogdig.net

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Seberapa penting sih tunangan dulu sebelum menikah?

Tunangan before merit...mayoritas orang sebelum menikah pasti tunangan dulu. (iya gitu? kata siapa? ) apa tujuan dari tunangan itu sendiri, bukannya cuma buang2 cost aja? mungkin bagi sebagian orang itu dianggap perlu untuk alasan-alasan tertentu. tapi apa alasannya? pertama mungkin ada yang memanfaatkan rentang waktu dari tunangan sampai dengan merit untuk saling memperlajari karakter masing2 pasangan biar ga nyesel ntarnya. tapi kalo alasannya itu, trus muncul pertanyaan...? seandainya setelah tunangan terus ada sesuatu yang dirasa ga cocok diantara pasangan itu sendiri, apakah tunangan itu mau dicancel begitu aja. kalo iya, apa kata dunia..????? dah tunangan koq ga jadi merit...next reason...culture! gaya hidup orang tuh kan beda2, di level kehidupan masyarakat tertentu tunangan seolah menjadi sesuatu yang harus, yah ga tau knapa sih? lihat aja kebanyakan orang yang tinggal di kota besar terutama pasti tunangan dulu before merit. beda ama orang yang tinggal di kampung, kayanya jarang deh ada orang yang tunangan, kebanyakan pasti langsung merit ajah. atau karena orang kampung mikirnya ga ada special budgjet untuk itu. ya iyalah buat merit aja dah bingung nyari cost dari mana apalagi buat merit, ga kepikir sama sekali kayanya. atau itu emang culture orang dikampung.

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siapkah anda untuk menikah...???

menikah???? benarkah anda sudah yakin dengan keputusan anda untuk menikah? kata orang menikah itu asyix,karena dengan ikatan tali pernikahan kita bisa lebih aman dalam segala hal,ya artinya lebih mudah tuk kita saling sharing.tapi aku punya pertanyaan? benarkah anda sudah siap lahir dan bathin..??? menurut aku si engga ada istilah siap lahir bathin dan dalam manghadapi suatu pernikahan? kenapa.......?? ya sekarang anda boleh mengatakan anda siap lahir dan bathin,tetapi sadarkah anda dengan apa yang akan anda hadapi setelah menikah...ok sekarang anda boleh siap dari lahir,ya harta melimpah dll??? tetapi gimana dengan bathin anda dan calon pasangan anda?? sudah siapkah.. ya kenapa aku bisa mengatakan demikian? karena kehidupan sebelum dan sesudah msnikah sangatlah berbeda,yang tadinya bobo sendirian sekarang harus bobo berdua dengan pasangan anda,siapa si orangnya yang engga kikuk,malu dll???ya mungkin bagi sebagian orang engga jadi masalah,ya karena alasan tertentu? orang tua dari jaman dulupun merasakan demikan,gimana yang menikah dengan cara perjodohan????????

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Why do people get married...?

People marry to get company that they would not get if they were single. Nobody wants to return to an empty home, which is what happens if you do not marry. Isolation can be killing. Studies have shown that isolation can be harmful to health as heavy smoking or drinking.

It is only in the movies that bachelors look young and carefree. If you see men who are single, after the age of 28 or so, you will find that they look older and more worn out than married persons of the same age. Scores of studies done in North America and Western Europe shows that married people enjoy better health than singles. They also live longer.

Take mental health for instance. Singles outnumber married individuals by three to one in mental hospitals. Outnumbering the singles however, are widowed people, testifying to a fact that the death of a spouse is one of life's most stressful events.

However, data shows that divorce can unbalance a married individual. Divorced people in mental hospitals one and a half times, some studies shows. Single men are nearly twice as likely to commit suicide as married men. Divorced and widowed men, however, were even more suicidal than single men. Looking at this data it is worth examining why marriage contributes to health and longevity and why being single has the reverse effect. The answer is simple.

People who are married and especially those with children, drink and drive less, take drugs less, and engage in less risky behavior. They feel responsible for their wife and children while an unencumbered bachelor tends to be more reckless. Medical studies confirm that the benefits from marriage are many.

Married people not only have lower rates for a variety of illness, they are less accident-prone than singles. Singles also are far more likely to have a car accident or die of diseases of the liver, largely caused by drinking liquor. Research shows that married people drink least, the widowed, divorced or separated the most.

Heavy drinkers are also heavy smokers. Married people are happier than singles because man is a social animal and loneliness depresses him because human being grow up with close relationships and cannot cope with isolation.

A man lives in a family for many years after he is born. In school and college, he has friends. When he begins a job, he has office colleagues. But it is only at home as a bachelor that he is all alone. He cannot endure that. That is why you find men getting married soon after they begin working.

Finally marriage derives its strength from a human being's need to perpetuate himself beyond death by producing children. This evolutionary need is so strong that even an enlightened thinker like Bertrand Russell wrote that people unable to have children begin to find life meaningless because there is nothing to connect them with a distant future when they would not be alive.

Factor	Response %
Love	91
Companionship	88
To signify a life-long commitment	82
Security for children	79
To make a public commitment to each other	77
For legal status or for financial security	66
Because of religious beliefs	62
Response to Family pressure	50
Desire for a special occasion	45

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Apa alasan orang mau menikah?

menikah ? kayanya semua orang normal pengen menikah. jagankan orang normal, orang yang punya kelainan sex aja (gay & lesbi) sekarang bisa menikah walaupun hanya dinegara negara tertentu saja yang sudah melegalkan pernikahan sesama jenis. Ada satu pertanyaan yang menurut saya jawabannya sangat relatif dan mungkin yah,,,apa ya istilahnya?pertanyaan itu adalah kenapa orang mau / pengen menikah? apakah alasannya sebatas sex atau ada alasan lain? kalo mau jujur mungkin sex adalah alasan utama mengapa orang mau menikah. buktinya banyak orang have a sex before married. tapi mungkin bagi orang yang bener2 udah dewasa, sex bukan satau2nya alasan untuk menikah. ada alasan lain seperti pengen membina rumah tangga misalnya atau pengen punya keturunan, dll. itu semua kembali ke orangnya masing-masing.Anda sendiri kenapa anda mau menikah?

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